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March 5, 2011

Article: Anger Management

by Umm Muawiyah

Assalamu Alaikum.

Ah, yes. Anger.

One of the things that keeps getting in the way of the “new” us.

As a former raving lunatic*, I know exactly how much damage anger can do – both to yourself and to others.

[*Let’s just say that I had severe anger management issues. It’s much, much, much better now, alhamdulillah.]

So, what can we do to control our anger?

Well, one can write a few volumes on this topic alone. However, a simple article will do for now.

I would like to point out one thing though: all the remedies in the world will NOT work if one cannot admit that he/she has a problem.

So, if you have a temper, you need to first ADMIT it to yourself.

So, here’s a short but comprehensive article about this topic:

____________________________________________________________

http://www.subulassalaam.com/articles/article.cfm?article_id=147

Anger Management

Reference: Al Afnaan an Nadiyyah 7/328

Author: Shaykh Zayd al Madkhalee

A Warning from Anger- no matter the Reason.

This is because anger lures its victim into practicing acts that necessitate punishment such as murder, speaking negatively of others, destroying property, abstaining from being good to others and similar issues that anger entices a person to fall into and drives them to accomplish, regressing into sin due to having no patience and forbearance. Anger is the key to the doors of evil, a man approached the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – seeking advice that would benefit him in his religion, rather in all his affairs, he advised him saying:

“Do not get angry.”

The man repeated the question and the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – repeated the response saying; “Do not get angry.”

This was reported by al Bukhaaree in the Hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah – may Allaah be pleased with him – that a man approached the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – saying;

“Advise me.”

The Messenger responded: “Do not get angry.”

The man continued to repeat the question and the Messenger kept repeating:

“Do not become angry.”

There are methods for anger management in the noble legislated texts:

  1. What was authentically reported in the two Saheehs on the authority of Salmaan ibn Sard – may Allaah be pleased with him – who said: “Two men starting insulting each other in the presence of the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – while we were seated; one of them was insulting the other angrily while his face was red, so the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – said:“I seek refuge from the accursed Shaytaan.”Others said to him: “Do you not hear what the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – is saying?”He responded: “I am not a madman!”
  2. Al Imaam Ahmad and at Tirmidhee reported a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Sa’eed that the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – said in his Khutbah: “Indeed anger is a scorching coal seated in the hearts of the children of Adam, do you not see the redness of his eyes and the swelling of his cheeks? So whoever senses any of these symptoms should attach himself to the earth.”
  3. The wording is for at Tirmidhee.

  4. Al Imaam Ahmad and Abu Dawood reported the Hadeeth of Abu Waa-il who said: “We were sitting with ‘Urwah ibn Muhammad when a man entered and said things to him that angered him. When he became angry he stood up and left, he returned having performed ablution and said:‘My father narrated to me that my grandfather (who was a Companion) narrated to him that the Messenger of Allaah – صلى الله عليه وسلم – said:“Indeed anger is from the Shaytaan, and indeed Shaytaan was created from fire, and indeed fire is put out with water. So if any of you were to become angry, perform ablution.”

Likewise, there are texts praising the person who is able to control himself, represses his anger and forgive whoever angered him. Allah the Elevated said:

{and when they are angry, they forgive}

The Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – said:

“The strong one is not the one who can wrestle others, rather it is the one who can control himself when angry.”

‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul ‘Azeez stated:

“Successful indeed is one who safeguards himself from desires, anger and greed.”

Al Hasan stated:

“If there are four things present in a person, he would be protected from Shaytaan and the fire would be prohibited from touching him; A person who controls himself during;

     

  1. Raghbah (longing),
  2. Rahbah (fear),
  3. Shahwah (lust/desire),
  4. Ghadab (anger)”

To have Raghbah for something is to want it and believe that it is beneficial for you. So whoever has a need for something, this need may drive him to attain it through any means possible, a lot of which could be impermissible, and the object that is longed for itself may be prohibited.

Rahbah is to fear something. If a person fears something he would try to repel it by any means necessary, a lot of which may be impermissible.

Shahwah is to desire something which you take pleasure in. A person may desire a lot of things that are prohibited such as fornication, theft, alcohol, disbelief, magic, hypocrisy and innovations.

Ghadab – Anger: It is the boiling of the hearts blood to repel a harm fearing would take place, or to take revenge from someone who has previously caused harm. A lot of impermissible things take place as a consequence of anger, such as fighting, hitting as well as other types of oppression and transgression. A lot of impermissible forms of speech also take place, such as defamation, verbal abuse, and evil words. This may even reach the level of disbelief.”

It is incumbent upon the believer that his desires are limited to what Allaah has permitted for him. It may be that a person may engage in something [permissible] with a good intention and be rewarded for it, or that his anger is due to harm being caused to his or someone else’s deen, such as taking revenge from someone who disobeys Allah and His Messenger, as Allah said:

{Fight against them so that Allah will punish them by your hands and disgrace them and give you victory over them and heal the breasts of a believing people, and remove the anger of their (believers’) hearts} [At Tawbah 14-15]

And this was the state of the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم -, indeed he never took revenge for himself, but if any of the prohibitions of Allah were contravened, nothing was able to stand up to his anger.”

I say [Shaykh Zayd]: After you have come to know, O Muslim, of what anger, for other than Allah, entices, then it is binding upon you to avoid what causes anger. If one of its causes comes upon you, then it is upon you to cure it with what the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم -directed; to:

  1. Seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytaan,
  2. Perform ablution,
  3. Have tranquility
  4. Thinking about the consequences of what will happen if you follow your anger such as regret, or rather a close punishment as well as postponed one.

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